Friday, February 13, 2015

Dates

So you are one of the lucky one's who managed to get a date for Valentine's Day. You are about to enter the netherworld of the blind date.  Three words enter your mind. Bang, run, dateYou are open to all possibilities except waking up in a cheap hotel room naked in an ice bath with a missing kidney. So should you bang, run, or date them?

1) The Lolita. This girl is going to be trouble. You might fall prey to obsession, and severe infatuation. This girl is more than likely 10 or more years younger than you, and once she comes to her senses will leave you for someone her own age. She was experimenting after all. Your future will be bleak and more than likely you will need the help of many 12 step programs to move on. Run!

Photo by Tyler Shields

2) Bored. If you find your date intently looking at you. She is really thinking about all of the other things she could have been doing tonight. You will need to turn this around fast if you want the date to end in a bang, and not a run on her end.


3) Hipster/surfer. This girl is cool. Bang away, and you don't have to sleep with a gun under your pillow. Your relationship will consist of chic vegan restaurants, art shows, and surfing. Date.



4) The dom. You don't know what happened or how you woke up naked in a bathroom stall in Arizona. Your wallet and car are gone. This girl matched you shot for shot. This is a potential bang that should have been a run.



5) The It girl. She is stylish, hot, and smart. Heads will turn. You will have competition, and may have a few sleepless nights stalking her Instagram profile. So worth it. Date.

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